Things I have in common with my dog part 1

When I was a wee lass, my mom used to rub my belly until I calmed down and feel asleep. I would lie next to her and roll my shirt up and she would rub in a circular motion and I would almost instantly fall asleep. It's my favorite thing in the world and sometimes I can't help but ask my significant others or even super best friends to rub my tummy. And yes, it is awkward lifting my shirt up to my boobs as whoever shakes their head in resignation and sighs while tentatively reaching for my muffin top.

Cooper loves getting his tummy rubbed and he's rather whorish as he willingly splays backwards with all four feet in the air giving a look that clearly says, "touch me, you know you want to." And he wallows and makes these weird faces with his teeth half bared while he moans with glee. He doesn't discriminate; he will roll over for a person he just met.

So when he looks at me and rolls over with a look that says, "please???" I think to myself, "Ah Coop, of course I'll rub your tummy! It's the best feeling in the world, huh little guy?" and I will rub his tummy until he had enough.

So this is something I have in common with my dog. Tummy rubs.

Cooper's Day

6:25 AM: Go pee
7:10 AM: Shock collar goes on and I am out the door
7:11 AM: Sulks on the couch
9:00 AM: Sulks on my bed
9:01 AM: Sulks on my pillows and sheds 9 times more than normal
10:00 AM: Sulks in his house

(this goes on until I come home)

4:15 PM: Greets me (sometimes) at the door and gets shock collar taken off
4:16 PM: Ignores me
4:30 PM: Walk
6:00 PM: Dinner
6:15 PM: Wanders around the house with a toy in his mouth and whines for about 20 minutes
6:40 PM: Sulks in his house

Repeat

For awhile my roommate was unemployed and I would ask what Cooper did during the day. My roommate told me that sometimes he forgets that Cooper's around. He told me Cooper sleeps on my bed although he's not supposed to, then he'll move to my pillows, and eventually he'll go into his house. I asked if Cooper ever wants to play or get attention, and my roommate said rarely. I guess Cooper is really a one-man dog. Or in my case, a one-girl dog.

New home, new perch

At my old place, Cooper used to sit on the windowsill and watch the building next door. In our new place, Cooper sits on the windowsill and watches an alley-way and a courtyard where a million and a half pigeons flock about pooping on our windows.

Here he is admiring the view. There's a bar right next door, so he gets to watch homeless people dig through the dumpters to collect cans and bottles.

That's a pretty good 3 feet off the floor but Cooper jumps it with ease. I got nervous about him bumping his head on the window so I put a chair over by the window so he can climb up using that. And yes, that's a large binder clip holding the blinds together so they don't flap around in the wind making that ear splitting crackling sound.

Ah Cooper, you're so majestic...

Bark

I found this video on a website I like: http://www.urlesque.com/. They have random cute, funny, gross, you name it videos: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArnunZlPvxo&feature=player_embedded I wish I could teach Cooper that trick but he doesn't really bark.

Hooray for emergency vet bills

Hooray for me, I got my raise and with it, a giant step into the next tax bracket. After my first paycheck with the raise on Friday, I set aside a fairly good chunk into my “Hooray, new apartment and furniture!” fund. Alas, most of what I saved into that fund went into Cooper’s “haha, I’m fucking up your plans!” fund.

As noted, I joined the Bansfield Wellness Program for Cooper keeping a teeth cleaning in mind. I scheduled a teeth cleaning appointment for Saturday and had to wake up at 6:30 to drop him off by 7. As if that wasn’t bad enough, my previous vet hadn’t sent over his complete records and I had to spend an hour on the phone explaining that yes, I know about Cooper’s heart murmur; it’s actually a ventricular septal defect. Finally, they get him on the table and start scraping away only to call me after 20 minutes informing my that Cooper cracked a top molar all the way down to the root and his nerves were exposed. WTF? When did that happen? How long has that been there? Cooper never showed any pain and I had no idea how long his tooth was cracked.

Second question: How much is that going to cost?! $400. Well, that included his antibiotics and pain meds but seriously, 400 bucks to pull a tooth. Granted, it was a huge molar and because of his heart problem they had to hook him up to another machine since they needed more anesthesia but still, there went half of my savings from the paycheck. Without the wellness plan, it would have cost a whopping $650 bucks.

I felt bad, I have no idea how that happened and neither does the vet so it’s not like I can do anything preventative such as no more tug of war, bully sticks, bones, who knows what else. Luckily, Cooper had tartar build up in the crack that was cushioning his nerves so he probably didn’t even notice it which also made me wonder if I could have left it as is but figured if it got worse, it’ll probably cost me more. Ugh, poor little buddy. I feel like an awful pet parent both because I had no idea and also because I was seriously considering leaving the tooth as is.

He’s pretty swollen and looked rather miserable yesterday. He was enthusiastically running around and tried to jump on my bed, miscalculated the leap and face planted into the side of my bed and screamed in pain. He’s been sulking in his house ever since only coming out to whimper in my ear and give me those big sad eyes. But he gets to eat wet food for a week and he’s pretty stoked about that.

Dog friendly, my ass

I finally got my promotion and raise which means that Cooper and I can finally afford to move into a bigger place. Unfortunately, despite all the boasting of being so "dog-friendly," I'm having a hard time finding an apartment I like that allows dogs.

I don't mind paying a pet fee, that's a given but I wish I could find a place I like that's dog friendly. A lot of businesses and areas in Denver say they're "dog-friendly" when really, they turn into Nazis yelling at you that your dog is not allowed in this area. Cooper and I had an unfortunate run in with a random security guard who bitched me out about walking Cooper through a courtyard that I thought was dog-friendly as 6 people walked by with their dogs.

Alas, in conclusion, Denver-you are a gigantic bullshitter. You are NOT dog friendly. Or at least make bigger signs saying I can't bring my dog here.

Gullible

Every once in awhile, I go on work trips. Once, I was in Pinellas County, Florida and my co-workers and I were enjoying drinks on the beach. I'm the youngest in any work trip I go on; there's only 3 of us in the office that are under the age of 30. Anyway, because my co-workers are my parent's age, if not a little younger, we don't have too much in common. They know about Cooper and we usually just talk about our pets or something neutral like kids or something. Anyway, here is one of the most awkward things I ever said to a co-worker:

(Phone buzzes)

Me looking at the phone to see who's calling me: "Sometimes when my phone rings, I think it might be Cooper."

Co-worker: "..."

They probably think I'm retarded and very not qualified for my line of work.

Cut to a few days later, my office phone rings.

Me: "Hello, this is Alisa."

Person on phone: "Woof, woof! Mom?! Woof woof!"

Me: "...Cooper?"

Person on the phone: "Alisa, are you serious? This is (co-worker)"

Me: "...NO! I wasn't serious..." (blushes and looks furtively around the office to make sure no one heard me)

Yep, I'm so gullible it's sad. And it's true, sometimes my phone rings and I like to think it might be Cooper. Yes, I need a life.