Wednesday, July 20, 2011


I make Cooper dance with me. Just last night I made him dance to Beyonce's "Single Ladies" only changing the word "ladies" to "Coopers." Yes, my poor dog...

Poor little shiba.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

If Cooper were a real boy...

He'd be that teacher's pet that every kid makes fun of. He would probably wear glasses and would need an inhaler which he would have to wear around his neck. Because of his severe food allergies, he'd be the reason why kids in his class can't eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. He would answer every question correctly or repeatedly ask "Why?" in class.

I imagine him to be endearingly sweet and over joyed with everything in life though. I imagine that even though he would be annoying and his voice would never change, everyone around him will secretly like him.

I also imagine his personality to be of my 5 year old cousin, Brodie. Brodie isn't the cutest kid in the world, and I can say that since he's my cousin, but he more than makes up for his lack of looks with his awesome personality that is both ridiculously cute and hilariously sassy. Here's a pic of Brodie when he was 4:

For awhile his favorite thing in the world was Thomas the Engine or Train or Locomotive. All he would say to me was "Can you help me? (ie clean my room for me)" and "Will you play with me?" Such a sweet kid, thank God he has his mother's personality because my uncle's a dick.

Brodie has such a sweet musical voice and if Cooper could talk, he would have Brodie's voice. So adorbs. I also haven't told my aunt and uncle that I like to imagine Cooper being Brodie. I think they might be offended.

I asked Brodie if he'd like to meet Cooper one day and he said No. Too bad, I think they would have had so much fun together.

Thursday, July 7, 2011


I got Cooper to fix a broken relationship. Like many people who have children hoping it would salvage a relationship, my then fiancee and I got a dog. We kinda lied and told people that Cooper was my early Christmas present but really, he was our last resort to try and make us a "family."

Needless to say, getting a dog didn't make things easier for us. Both of us wanted to get a dog at some point and we did discuss breeds and what we wanted from a dog so technically, Cooper wasn't an impulse purchase. Both of us had more than enough money for all the puppy expenses and we both had dogs before so it wasn't like we weren't used to picking up shit or training a dog. What we lacked was...I don't know; I guess "making it work," whatever that means.

We got Cooper at probably the lowest point prior to breaking up; I was incredibly lonely in the hell-hole of Iowa and I had no friends or anything to do in that barren state. It was also winter so that didn't make my moods any better. Corey was always going out with his friends getting wasted and I was home alone with nothing but cable and movies. I think he agreed to getting a dog sooner than we planned because he figured it would keep my entertained and I'd have company.

Having Cooper added some bright points and happiness but there were probably more low points. From finding out about his health problems to the little fucker peeing and pooping all over the place regardless of putting him on a schedule, put more strain on our relationship. The pooping and peeing got better after we got him neutered but there were still resentment. We agreed that Cooper was "our" dog and that we would both work on training him and getting him excercised. Of course, that only worked for like, a month and it was left to me to do everything for Cooper.

Because I had resentment toward my ex, I have to admit that when Cooper chewed on his shit I didn't stop him. Cooper also had a habit of peeing on everyone who came through the door, probably from being excited, regardless of taking him out mere seconds before someone came over, and Cooper would piss all over Corey and I would just sit there with a smile on my face thinking, "Good dog." And because Cooper's a little bitchy, he would wait until Corey picked him up to about face-level and pee all over his face and chest.

I guess because I was the one who fed, walked, trained, loved Cooper, he chose me as his person. Sure Corey played with him and he gave him treats but Cooper listened better to me and was more responsive.

In ways I'm glad we didn't decide to push forward a wedding and get pregnant hoping a kid would fix our mess. Knowing how little Corey helped with the dog made me realize that I could never have children with that guy. Also, having a puppy was stressful enough; I couldn't imagine the stresses a baby could be. Even though Cooper was a band aid for a relationship going south, he was the best "impulse" decision I made that year.