Tyson came to visit last week. We didn't have anything planned for the morning so this was our conversation:
Tyson: Want me to help you give Cooper a bath?
Me: No, I don't have any shampoo for him; I'll have to get some and I don't feel like cleaning out the tub.
Tyson: Why can't you use your shampoo?
Me: Well, Cooper has senstive skin and needs that oatmeal shampoo.
Tyson: *Bursts out laughing* Sensitive skin?! Are you serious?! That dog shouldn't even exist...
It's true. Everything about poor Cooper is defective. He has a ventricular defect in his heart, on the right wall, has severe seasonal allergies, food allergies, sensitive skin, and failing kidneys thanks to the ventricular defect. Mother Nature didn't want him to survive and yet, here I am defying her. Take that, you bitch. At least he's neutered so it's not like he can pass his crappy genes to generations of underbred shibas.
**The ventricular hole in his heart is a birth defect; his heart never formed fully when he was born. His parents were actually well bred and his litter was healthy. Cooper just got the shit end of the stick.