Death

On a creepy note, after I posted that last post last week, Mitch's dog Lola died. He came home and found her lying on the floor with a floor lamp on top of her and blood and diarrhea everywhere. Apparently she had a stroke and while she was still alive, he had to put her down because she had so much damage and would be a vegetable.

She was a rescued/retired greyhound that was 12 years old. She was never properly potty trained so he would constantly come home with pee and poop everywhere. She also was a counter surfer and broke countless amount of his dishes. She also whined all the time; seriously, the dog whined all the time. But, Mitch had her for 6 or 7 years and it's hard to let go of anything even though he hated her at times.

It made me worry about Sari. She's almost the same age as Lola and I keep freaking out about her dying. I know it's inevitable but I don't want her to go. I haven't seen her for 3 years and I'm praying that she can hold out long enough for me to see her one last time. My brother says she's doing all right but you know, she's getting older and doesn't want to play as long and sleeps all the time. He says he freaks out when he sees her laying still for too long and goes to wake her up to make sure she's still alive. I'm dreading that phone call that I know will come sooner or later.

My brother and I joke about winning the lottery and getting her cloned. It would be worth every penny to get that dog cloned although we also wish we could get a time machine and just keep her as a puppy all over again. I just hope that I can see her soon...

Cooper has a heart condition; he has a small hole in his ventricular walls that happened at birth and it may or may not cause him a shorter life. The vet thought it was a heart murmur until I got it looked at and I guess this hole in the ventricular wall is a little bit better than a murmur. I still think, because I'm paranoid, that Cooper won't have as long a life as any normal shiba. Although I didn't want a shiba in the first place, I can't imagine my life without Cooper and I sometimes worry about going home and finding him dead from one thing or another.

Post-Secret

I saw this on Post-Secret:

I honestly believe that I spoil Cooper and let him get away with so much because of my guilt for my first dog Sari. Sari's the most amazing dog/companion anyone could ask for and she really deserves so much more than what she has had in her 11 years of life. I really wish I could keep her with me but because she's lived outdoors her whole life, living indoors would cause her to become destructive. Plus she's semi-aggressive and over-protective which wouldn't be a good thing when you live downtown constantly surrounded by people.

She's the best dog I could ask for...she always knew when you were sad and wanted to sit next to you and lick you to make you feel better. She never stepped on me or jumped on me because she seems to be th eonly dog who understood that dog paws hurt when they step on you. She always made me feel safe when I went for walks because I knew she wouldn't let anyone or anything hurt me.

I couldn't wait to graduate and finally start making my own money to spend it on her. But she moved to Washington with my dad and spends her days in the constant drizzle growing older. I miss her and I haven't seen her in 3 years because I just don't want to see my dad. If there was a way that I could see her without putting up with my family drama, I would totally jump on that chance. She's a great dog and I'm afraid that she'll die before I can see her again.

Phone

Sometimes I honestly think that my phone will ring and when I answer it, it'll be Cooper on the other line asking, "When are you coming home? I'm bored...and I'm hungry. Hey, whatcha doing? When are you coming home?" I know it's super ridiculous but I really believe that if Cooper could magically grow thumbs and speak, he'd call me every other minute wondering what I'm up to and why he can't be with me at work.

Weight Loss

At the advice from my vet, Cooper has been on a diet since January. She advised that I give him a cup of dry food a day instead of the 1 1/3 cups I was normally giving him. I was just following the feeding guideline on the side of the dog food bag for Cooper's weight range. From what the vet said, the dog food companies tend to overestimate the correct amount so the consumer runs out of food faster. Those assholes...no wonder so many dogs and cats are getting more and more obese.

I suppose that wouldn't really matter if you had an active dog and active lifestyle. From my musings past, I didn't walk Cooper at all in suburbia and only took him to the park when the weather was nice. Cooper being the ever lazy dog he is wouldn't run around as much as Pickle nor really, run at all. Although we had a mild winter in Colorado, I just couldn't bring myself to walk the dogs through the nasty muddy fields and walking both Cooper and Pickle by myself was really the most frustrating thing I could do because of Pickle's circling and nervousness.

Anyway, now that Cooper and I are back downtown with ample sidewalks, he and I have been going for at least a 45 minute walk everyday. The weekends, twice a day. I still only give him a cup of dog food and he hasn't had treats in I don't know how long. I know it's only been about 2 weeks since moving downtown and it might be too soon to tell, but I think Cooper's losing weight. He doesn't walk very fast but at least he's moving more. He's shedding and is poofier than normal so I'm hoping that once he blows his coat I can see the weight loss if there is any. My scale broke so I have no idea if he is losing weight or not.

I was in denial about Cooper's weight for awhile I guess. He never looked "fat" so how was I supposed to know? I couldn't compare him to Pickle because Pickle's a twig but come to find out, Pickle's the exact weight a male shiba is supposed to be. I saw Jackson and he looked like Pickle's body type and mass and only then did I gasp and realize that Choo Choo is a little porker. He weighed 27 pounds when we last took him to the vet. He needs to lose at least 5. I noticed that his collar was tight on him too and I blamed that on his super thick coat. Ah, denial...maybe I shouldn't be a parent because if I can't even find the flaws in my own dog, how am I going to find flaws in a kid? In my eyes Cooper's perfect and I know he's not. He's probably the worst dog ever and it's my fault of spoiling that little fucker. If I could start over from the beginning, he would end up the same. It's not that I'm a bad dog owner, I just let him get away with stuff and I'm not consistent.

Anyway, Cooper enjoys his walks although he likes to walk at the leisurely pace of an old man with a cane or walker. I'm constantly tugging on his leash to make him walk faster especially when we're crossing the street. Plus he has to stop and make friends with everyone who walks by us whether or not they're obviously a crazy person. It's frightening and I try to make him ignore them but he won't, he knows he's cute and wants everyone to know that.

Mellow Yellow

According to my friends who haven't seen Cooper since I moved to Lone Tree, Cooper has mellowed out. Who knew? To me he has been the same dramatic, bitchy little queen since the first day I got him. And I love him for that.

Anyway, my friend David was staring at Cooper when he came to help me move and Cooper was jumping on him and leaning against his legs asking for pets. I guess thinking about it now, Cooper is a little more affectionate. He still barks at strangers which is a good thing; I like nice dogs but at the same time I want a dog that'll at least try to be intimidating sometimes. Megan came over yesterday briefly and Cooper wanted to play fetch with her.

Perhaps the person's opinion that would affect me more is Fox's. Fox has had shibas in his life and currently has one named Jackson (who is the perfect dog in every way; Fox refers to him as the "broken shiba" because Jackson can be trusted off leash, comes when he's called, likes to cuddle, etc.). Fox noticed that Cooper is a lot more calm, mellow, and affectionate. I guess I can't see the difference because I'm around him all the time.

I don't know what that means. Maybe Cooper has finally matured into a calm adult dog and he's no longer a moody teenager dog. I swear, if he was a real boy, Cooper would be the most emo kid alive. Cooper's still a dick at times though, no way would he ever be a "perfect" dog and I accept him as he is. He still pulls too hard on his leash for the first 5 minutes and after being worn out from dragging me, he lags behind and tries to make me carry him.

This is a picture of "emo Coop" from about a year ago. I really should take more pictures of the little guy.

When I take him out for walks, everyone notices him and says, "oh! What a happy doggy! Look, he's smiling!"

I guess he is glad to be downtown and away from Pickle after all.

Cooper on Capitol Hill

For the most part, I am completely moved into my new place. Sure, I have about 3 boxes that still need to be unpacked but it's filled with books and I'm not in a huge hurry to unpack those. Plus, I don't have book cases yet.

Anyway, Cooper seems to be enjoying downtown again. He really is out of shape though, he gets tired and starts lagging behind after 4 blocks. Now that I really look at him, he is a little on the chubby side. I'm hoping that constant walks for at least an hour and a diet will help him lose some weight. I'm also not sure if it's because he's shedding right now and is "poofier" than normal. Either way, he needs to lose a few pounds and get back into shape, that lazy dog.

I can't tell if he misses Pickle though. Cooper just sits on my bed and naps all day and when I come home from work he's usually either in his house or on the bed staring at the door. I started to worry that maybe he's depressed but thinking about it, when I came home to my old place with Pickle, Cooper would be lying on the couch anyway. I don't think he's bored; he never played with Pickle much when they lived together. He seems happier though, he likes his daily walks and I'm sure his stress levels have gone down since he doesn't have an overenthusiastic Pickle in his face all the time.

I'm dog sitting for my friend David and at least for this weekend Cooper will have some dog company. I still worry about Pickle and I hope the little guy is doing all right.

Farewell to Pickle

I know I haven't written in quite some time. Mostly because I've been depressed but Corey and I broke up again and I am moving with Cooper this weekend. We're moving back downtown and I think Cooper will be fine with the move. Ironically I'm moving into my old apartment complex so it's not like I haven't been there before. In some ways I'm glad I'm moving there because Cooper and I already know the area really well and really, at some point it'll feel like we never left.

I'm going to miss Pickle like crazy though. I've had him for 8 months and watched him come out of his shell; at least around Corey and me. I'm going to miss his happy-go-lucky attitude and his quick, speedy responses to whatever I ask him to do. I'm going to miss the way he would curl up next to my legs whenever Cooper wasn't on the couch with me.

Because this is a bad split, I told Corey I want nothing to do with him but he insists on using me to dogsit Pickle for him when he goes out every weekend. While I can see his point since Pickle has an intense fear of strangers, I don't want Corey relying on me to watch his dog so he can skimp on his responsibilities. In my opinion, I think forcing Pickle into social situations might help him get over his fear. Of course I could be horribly wrong but I really don't think I can handle having to see Corey all the time.

Pickle has always been the kind of dog that wants to know what you're doing. If I go to the bathroom, he's one step behind me. Even if I close the door he opens it somehow (I suspect that the latch doesn't catch all the time) and sits in the doorway or on the bath mat. One time while I was showering I looked down and saw Pickle staring at me through the curtain. Kind of creepy when you're almost legally blind without glasses or contacts. Lately he's been staring at me with his big brown eyes and they look so sad. He has the puppy dog eyes down and it's really pulling on my heart strings. I just see his cute little face and it really breaks my heart knowing that he might not be well taken care of. A part of me wants to take care of him but the other part really doesn't want to have to put up with Corey. I know I'm being unfair to the dog but at some point we need to break contact. I don't think I'm at fault that Corey doesn't have any friends that he feels like he can trust to watch a dog for a day or two.

I know Cooper will be tons happier without Pickle. We've been keeping them seperated and Cooper just basks in the glory of having his own space. I feel bad for Pickle because he's always sitting outside the bedroom door whining and pawing at the door while Cooper growls at him from the other side.

Who knows, maybe I'll be the bigger person and take care of Pickle just this once but I really don't know, I'm so conflicted and the one who has to pay is Pickle.