I'm sorry I didn't get you any toys this year and I'm sorry that I didn't take the time to include you in my holiday shopping. But, let's be honest and realistic, you don't have any concept of holidays and technically, everyday is like Christmas to you anyway.
Since the holidays are days you should spend with your loved ones, I'm glad I'll be spending Christmas with you. Just like we have for the last 3 years, you have been the only sense of family I have during the holiday season and well, everyday. So I want to thank your mischievous, apathetic, lazy, low energy ass for being my companion, source of entertainment, and the bane of my existence all rolled into a 30 pound doggy frame. I love you, Choo Choo.
P.S.--I did order you those organic extra thick bully sticks you love so much. Please return the favor and poop quickly instead of making me walk you for miles in this snow. Thanks.